NICU Stages

I was talking to the woman who is in charge of the Parent Support Group tonight.  She was asking me how I was holding up and then talking to me about her experience with the NICU.  We talked about how terrifying and stressful it was for that first month or so.  I made sure my phone was right next to my bed every night just in case the NICU needed to call me in the night.  As soon as I woke up in the morning, I called down to see how they were and how their night went.  I cried a lot and prayed a lot.  Then we sort of hit a plateau where they started doing really well and growing and the scary part was over.  Now I am in the frustration stage where I have to be so patient and wait for them to learn to breastfeed so they can finally come home.  One day it seems like they are really getting it and then, instead of progressing, the next day one of them won't want to do anything at all.  Tonight Jordyn's test weight was -5 which means she worked so hard during nursing that she actually lost 5 grams.  I really want her to get it down so she can catch up a little bit to Addi.  But I guess we can only go up from there, right?

Packing Up

Addi was SATing high today while I was breastfeeding her and she was turned down as low as she could go.  I mentioned this to Brenda while she was doing rounds on the girls and she said we could try another room air trial.  She told me to take it off right then.  When I went back this evening she had her cannula back on again and the nurse told me she lasted for about 3 hours and then was DESATing so much that they had to put her back on.

Jordyn had been DESATing a lot during her feedings and also spit up afterward, so Brenda decided she wasn't quite ready to do 30 minute feedings yet and bumped her up to 45 min.  She seems to be tolerating that fine so far.  

Mom and I started packing boxes this afternoon and Rylee was super helpful.  There were a couple of snags in the appraisal so our move has been postponed til next Saturday.  That will give Ry, Mom , and I even more time to pack up all this stuff.  You don't realize how much stuff you have until you have to pack it all up.

Test Weight

We weighed Addi before and after I fed her this morning and I couldn't believe the scale said she had drunk 26 mls.  That's more than half of her feeding!  She did so great!  I pumped about an hour before I went again and it seems like that is the better way to do it. 

Jordyn's done so well on 1 liter of oxygen that they finally made the switch over to the smaller cannula.  They had kept the High Flow cannula on in case she didn't do so well and they needed to go back up.  She looks so good without that big white cannula on her face!  She was wide awake and looking around at everything until we turned on the light to take her picture.

Tonight was bath night and Mom and I stayed and helped with Addi's.  Jordyn's feedings were contracted down to 30 minutes tonight and I was there for her first one.  She seemed stressed and fussy during the whole feeding.  I mentioned that to the nurse and she thought it best to put her back to bed and not stress her out even more with a bath.

I had to speak in church today.  It went alright.  I didn't take up very much time.  It's really nice to have that over with.  We have lived in this house for 6 years and we have made a lot of great friends and really like our ward.  We will really miss it!

Busy Day

We had a very busy day with the NICU, soccer games, and helping Mom and Dad clean out their basement to make room for us.  Since we haven't had any luck with our house hunt yet, we are going to move in with them until we find something.  The girls did well with breastfeeding tonight but Jordyn was gagging a lot afterward and that was concerning to me.  We'll just have to keep watching her and make sure she is ok.  Her paralyzed vocal chord makes breastfeeding even harder because she can't close off her airway and could possible asphyxiate on the milk.  I tried pumping about an hour before I went in, instead of pumping for 5-6 minutes right before feeding them.  It seemed like Addi sucked and swallowed a lot so I think I will try a test weight tomorrow and see how much she is getting.  For a test weight, they will weigh the baby right before and then right after the feeding and 1 gram converts to 1 ml exactly.  They have to make sure they don't change anything about the baby in between.  They say it's pretty accurate, so we will see.

Cooper's Tooth

Right before bed tonight I asked Cooper to show me how loose his tooth was.  It was just barely hanging on so we encouraged him to pull it out.  He was hesitant at first but wanted to do it himself and he did!  He was so excited!

Jordyn's feedings were contracted again to 1 hour.  She has done really well with all of that.  She is still doing good with 1 liter so Brenda said in the next day or two they will switch out her cannula.  I tried nutritive breastfeeding with Jordyn for the first time today.  She didn't do too much.  The Occupational Therapist assured me that she did really well and even nuzzling and licking are really good signs that she is ready.  It's so hard to be so patient!  The girls will get their first set of immunization shots tonight.  That seems like such a milestone to me!

Room Air Trial

I got a phone call this afternoon from Brenda giving me the update on the girls.  I had been in to see them in the morning but Brenda hadn't finished rounds on them yet.  She was so pleased with the girls' progress and decided to push them a little more.  Addi's canula is off and she got put on a "room air trial".  She lasted from 2:30 until about 10:30 on room air and then had to go back on the oxygen.  Brenda said it's common for babies to go back and forth and that it usually takes a few tries before they can talk the baby into it.  It was so exciting to see her without her cannula.

Peggy made dinner for us tonight and then came down to the hospital with Bert and I.  She got to hold the girls for the first time.

Peggy holding Jordyn.

Brenda decided to turn Jordyn down to 1 liter of oxygen and also contract her feedings to 2 hours on and 1 hour off.  She's been tolerating everything so well.  If she can stay down on a 1 liter then she will get a new cannula just like Addi's.  I will love seeing more of her face and I'm sure she'll love not having that huge cannula on her face.

Rylee & Cooper's Check-up

I took Rylee and Cooper in to the doctor today for their well-child check-ups.  I'm only 3 months late with Cooper's and 2 months late with Rylee's, but who's counting?

Rylee's 20 months stats are:

Weight: 23 lbs. 4 oz. - 25%
Length: 32.25 in. - 45%
Head: 19 in. - 80%

Cooper's 6 yr stats are:

Weight: 53 lbs. - 80%
Height: 48 in. - 90%

Champs

The girls were both breastfeeding champs today!  Annie, the Occupation Therapist, said she's convinced that God sends preemies to parents who need to learn patience.  The last hurtle we need to get past before we can go home is breastfeeding.  I've heard from a lot of nurses that it takes a long while and it is so hard for the mom to stay patient through it all.  I'm one of the most impatient people ever, so it's going to be quite the process.  It makes a big difference when the girls have a great breastfeeding day!

Addi now weighs 4 lbs 8 oz and Jordyn is 4 lbs 13 oz.  They are almost grown out of their preemie clothes!

Results

While I was at the hospital this morning, I missed a call from Cooper.  He found his first loose tooth during lunch at Nana's and was so excited about it that he couldn't eat another bite and then had to call around to tell everybody.  He's been asking a lot lately when it was going to happen to him so he is pretty excited that it's finally here.

The girls both had head ultrasounds today.  Addi's looks normal and Jordyn's looks like it is improving.  I was so glad to hear those results because it has been a long time since they've had an ultrasound on their head.  They also got their hemoglobin levels checked.  One of the problems that comes up in the NICU is that after they have given a baby blood, the baby's body doesn't do the work anymore to keep the hemoglobin levels up on its own.  It's one of those lesser of two evils kind of thing because they have to give the babies blood but they know that this problem could arise because of it.  They have been giving the girls iron and hoping they would pull up on their own and not need another transfusion.  Both of their hemoglobin levels were higher today so it looks like their body is doing what it's supposed to do.

Addi

The doctor decided to start contracting Jordyn's feeding now.  She has been on a continuous flow for the past few weeks to help with her reflux but they are ready to go back to normal feedings.  They take it really slow and so she will now be getting fed slowly for 2 1/2 hours with just a 30 minute break in between.  Hopefully her gut will tolerate the change!

Jordyn

Annie made a date with me today to help me breastfeed Jordyn.  I feel like Jordyn did great and was very interested.  She opened wide a few times and latched on.  We had to go really slow with her and not push her too hard.  I'm really hoping she will take off with breastfeeding so she can catch up to Addi a little.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that these girls will be ready to go home on the same day so I don't have to leave one baby at home to go visit the other still at the hospital.

Nursery B

We are in Nursery B now!  It's a really big step because they only send babies over to B that are stable and doing really well.  We have a nice view of BYU and the temple and will be meeting a lot of new nurses.  Some of them will be the same and our primary nurses will follow us over to Nursery B, but there are some nurses who only work in B so we will have to get to know them.

Bert was released from the Bishopric today.  He told me to be ready in case they called me up to share my testimony.  They ran out of time so I was very pleased until the Bishop found me during Sunday School to ask if I could speak next Sunday instead.  Dang!

No More Gagging on Tubes

Wendy tried to turn Jordyn down to 1.5 liters today and she tolerated it for a while but then started having really deep DESATS so they bumped her back up again.  Wendy said that half a liter really shouldn't make that much of a difference, but it did to Jordyn.  She is very particular about her settings and will let you know when she wants you to mess with them.

Wendy was really hoping she could get Jordyn lower than a 2 so that she could move her to the smaller cannula and get her feeding tube run through her nose instead of her mouth.  Since Jordyn wouldn't allow that they still decided to try to put the feeding tube through her nose.  When I got there tonight it was already moved and I got to start breastfeeding with her.  She did better than I expected and latched on a couple of times with a few bursts of sucking.  Really good for a preemie!  I'm so glad her tubes are out of her mouth so she doesn't have to gag on them any more!!

Photo Shoot

After we gave the girls a bath tonight, we got them all dressed up and ready for a photo shoot.  Linda came over and took some way cute pictures of them for their 2 month old birthday sign that hangs above their bed.  Linda's very serious about her job and lays down a blanket backdrop and tries to hide as many of the cords and tubes as she can.  They turned out really cute and we even caught a couple of smiles.

Jordyn was weaned down to a 2 on her High Flow today.  As long as she does well with it and doesn't have to be turned back up again then I can start the breastfeeding process with her.  She will get a smaller cannula and her feeding tubes will move to her nose just like Addi's.  Poor little Addi has been so stuffed up lately and Carly is concerned that she might be getting sick.  Carly said she would watch her but not tell anyone else about it yet because if a baby gets a virus then they have to be put in an isolation room for the rest of their stay at the NICU.  That sounds horrible so we are really hoping and praying that her stuffiness will clear up soon.  Hopefully she's just all dried out from having that oxygen blowing in her nose all the time.

Reading Chair

Rylee loves books and while I was getting ready this morning she climbed up in her chair and sat and read books for probably about 15 minutes.  She's only allowed to look at the board books because I have had to repair way too many ripped pages.

Comparisons

I've been meaning to take another $1 bill picture to show how big the girls have gotten in the last 2 months.  It's amazing the difference!

 Addi (5 days old)

 Addi (9 weeks old)

Addi weighs 4 lbs. 4 oz. now and Jordyn weighs 4 lbs. 7 oz.

Freezer

With the exception of the middle shelf that has some jam and some chicken, my entire freezer is full of breastmilk! 

Diaper Rash

Poor little Addi has a diaper rash.  We are putting some barrier cream on every time we change her and trying to air out her bum in between cares.  Jordyn was weaned down to 4 liters on her High Flow this morning and then she was discussed during NEO meeting this afternoon.  They decided to wean her down again this evening to a 3.  As long as she tolerates it they will keep weaning her and trying to get her off her breathing machine.  Travis, one of only like 3 male nurses in the NICU, was our nurse tonight and he told me that oxygen is like a drug and they want to wean her as soon as possible and have her body do more of the work.

Co-Bedding

We are co-bedding now!!  Our nurse today, Keri, was able to get one of the doctors to write the order and now both of the girls will be in the crib.  I'm so excited about it and have had so many of the nurses tell me how good it is for them and that twins always do better when they are together.

Keri was also able to move us down a spot in the cul-de-sac so we now have a window.  Some of the family came down tonight with Bert and I to see the girls for the first time. (Erin and Nick were also there.)

Half a Suite

When I got to the NICU this morning, the receptionist told me the girl's beds had been put together in the same spot.  Our Suite has been cut in half and we are now forced to squeeze together in a tiny space.  The NICU is almost at full capacity and they have been getting so many new, tiny babies in so they needed us to squeeze together.  As soon as Jordyn is off the High Flow we will be moving over to Nursery B, but if they continue to have new, tiny baby's coming then we might have to move over earlier.

After I finished breastfeeding Addi I handed her to Tiff to hold and I held Jordyn.  While I had her out of her bed Keri swapped beds again.  She was getting too hot in the isolette and couldn't even be swaddled anymore.  She's now in an open crib.  Lots of the nurses have told me that they used to put twins together in the same crib and they seemed to love it and usually did better when they were together.  The doctors sort of frown upon it now because the American Pediatric Association has said it can cause SIDS.  I really want to do it and wonder if it will help Jordyn catch up to Addi a little faster.  I don't worry about anything happening because they are hooked up to so many monitors and alarms.  I won't be putting them together at home because I can't keep an eye on them 24 hours a day, but I think it would be fun for them to be together until they come home.  I'm hoping I can find a doctor who will write the order for them to co-bed.

Addi weighs 1809 grams (3 lbs 15 oz) and is getting 35 mls (1.18 oz) of breastmilk every 3 hours.  Jordyn is 1896 grams ( 4 lbs 2 oz) and gets 11 mls of milk per hour.  She is still on the continuous feeding and so it works out to be about 1.1 oz after 3 hours.  We've come a long way since the days when they got 1 ml every 4 hours.

Nutritive Breastfeeding

Bert worked from home today and we went out house hunting this afternoon.  We went to see 5 different houses: one in Orem, two in PG, and two in Lehi.  We were pretty disappointed when we got home.  There wasn't anything that we could see ourselves in.  There's not a lot of options in our price range so we just have to keep looking and hope something great pops up.

There were no changes with the girls today other than Jordyn got bumped down to 5 liters on her High Flow.  Annie was at the NICU tonight and we tried nutritive breastfeeding with Addi.  I pumped for about 5 minutes so she wouldn't be overwhelmed with the letdown.  Then I put her on and fed her.  She did so great!  I used the shield because she does so much better with it.  Bert helped give Jordyn a bath while I was feeding Addi and right when they got her put back in her bed, a nurse came up and said they were having an emergency delivery of a 25 week baby and needed Jordyn's Giraffe bed.  Our NICU only has 8 of them and they are all being used.  A bunch of us scrambled to get all of her stuff out of that bed and into the isolette bed that is just like Addi's.  It takes the nurses about 30 minutes to get it all cleaned and sanitized before they can put a new baby in so they were in a big hurry.

4 lbs

Kim told Mom and I that Jordyn reached the 4 pound mark last night when she was weighed.  I never would have guessed that she'd go from 1 lb 13 oz to 4 lbs in just 2 months.  She and Addi are doing so good and growing fast!  They admitted 23 week twins just across from Jordyn and Addi and it's amazing to see them and remember when our girls were that small.  I hope I have the chance to talk to the mom and tell her that she can make it through this too.  It can be so overwhelming at first and it always made me feel better to see babies that were doing so well and know that eventually my girls would be there too.

2 Months Old

The girls are 2 months old today!  I can't believe it's been 2 months.  There have been days and even weeks that have just dragged on, but now when I look back I just can't believe it's been that long.  I was pretty excited about it and mentioned it to just about every person I saw today!  The girls and I celebrated by snuggling together.  Erin and Tiff gave me this necklace a few days ago.  It has Addison and Jordyn's names engraved on and their birthstone and it also has a little tiny pea pod.  It's very sweet. 

I was walking into the hospital this evening and saw a van that looked just like Ben and Becky's.  As it got closer I realized it was Ben and Becky.  Becky was having contractions and they were coming to check into the hospital.  I waited for them to park and then we rode the elevator up to the 5th floor together.  After I was done holding the girls I walked over to Labor & Delivery and visited with them for a little while.  Dr. Savage was there breaking Becky's water and so we chatted for a bit too.  When I left I decided I need to say goodnight one more time to the girls and when I walked back into the NICU, Candace told me they were switching Jordyn over to High Flow right then.  They usually don't make changes during the night shift but they had wanted to do it earlier today and just got too busy with some new admits.  I decided to wait and see her with her new head gear :).  When I was on my way home I got the text from Ben announcing that Macy Jane had been born.  All these girls are going to be so close and have so much fun together!

Under Contract

We handed in a counter-offer on our house this morning and we heard back tonight that the buyers accepted it.  So we are now Under Contract.  Bert and I have been looking online a little at houses for sale in Orem and we are planning to go walk through a couple of them tomorrow.  We had 3 showings of our house today so I spent the whole day either at the hospital or at my mom's house.  I'm glad they accepted and we can go back to living at our own house again.
Wendy, our NP, called me this morning.  She told me that Ron was Jordyn's respiratory therapist today and after he had assessed her, he decided that having her rate up so high was making her reflux worse.  He dropped it down from 30 to 0 and she did great for over an hour.  Eventually she started having some deep swinging again, so they turned her back up to a 14.  She stayed on that the rest of the day.  Every time I have gotten frustrated with Jordyn's swinging, a nurse or doctor would tell me that she'll wean when she's ready.  I guess they were right.  She must have just woken up today and decided she was ready to be done with the NIP-V.  Hopefully she continues to progress.

I went to the hospital at 4:30 to meet with the Occupation Therapist, Annie.  She helped me with the breastfeeding once before and wanted to work with me again.  I jumped at the chance to have some extra help because I really feel like I don't know what I am doing.  Everyone keeps asking me how it is going and I have no idea what to say.  I've never breastfed a preemie before and it is completely different.  A nurse told me today that as long as it is a positive experience and there is some interest on the babies' part, then it is going great.  Annie gave me a breast shield to try.  They want you to start without, but since it's been a week she said it would be okay for me to put one on.  It was so much easier for Addi to latch onto and she stayed latched on and sucked for quite a while.  I'm still pumping right before so Addi isn't really getting much right now.

Bert went down this evening to help with the girls' baths (his first time).  He also weighed the girls and Addi is now 3 lbs 11 oz and Jordyn is 3 lbs 13 oz.  Every single nurse I have had for the past week has commented on how great the girls' swaddle blankets are.  Thanks again Harriet!  They are perfect!

Conference Sunday

We had a great day.  Carly texted me this morning to tell me that Jordyn had been weaned down to an 8 on her PEEP and as long as Carly kept her on her belly or her left side, she didn't swing as much.  While I was snuggling with Jordyn last night I gave her a little pep talk and told her she needed to catch up to her sister.  I guess she listened to some of it.  While Bert was holding her today, her stats were so good and she was super low on her FIO2.

The green number is her heart rate, blue is oxygen saturation level, and white is her respiratory rate.  The graph at the bottom also shows what her saturation level is but it's drawn out over an hour.  For her age and size she needs to stay between 88 - 95 % and she was above 80 for most of the time Bert was holding her.  Usually she is dipping down into the 60's or lower.  I'm happy to see her doing so well.

The girls always get measured on Sundays so I made sure to ask our nurse tonight.  Addi is now just over 16 inches long (she was 12.5 when she was born) and weighs 3 lbs 9 oz or 1613 grams (she was 805 when she was born).  Jordyn is 17 inches long (she was 13 at birth) and weighs 1711 grams (3 lbs 12 oz).  She was 820 when she was born.  The girls were born 8 weeks ago yesterday and have both already doubled their birth weight.

Addi's Debut

We got to show Addi off today.  Since she just has a cannula in her nose and is on .5 liter of oxygen, she is more mobile and could go over to the window to be shown off.  Unfortunately when I got there at 1:15 to get her dressed both of the windows near her bed were unavailable.  So Carly got a well-baby bed and we rolled Addi over to Nursery B to use one of their windows. 

At first she was fussy but she quickly calmed down and was so good!  She knew she was the star of the show and she performed very well.

We had quite a group come to see.

Our family, almost.  The boys were really excited to finally get to see one of their new sisters.  Hopefully Jordyn will be ready for her debut soon!

I went down for Cares this evening and got to help with Addi's bath and snuggle with both of my girls.  On my way home I got a phone call from Bert telling me someone had made an offer on our house.  After only 2 days on the market and 3 showings, we have an offer!  Life just keeps getting crazier!

Tandem Hold

We have had a very busy day today!  I went down for 10:30 Cares this morning with Mom and Tiff.  While I was there I got a phone call to schedule a showing of our house for 3:00.  After the hospital, I watched Becky's kids while she had a doctors appointment.  She had to go to the hospital after her appointment to get checked out, so Tiff and I took all the kids to my house to meet Bert and Dave and make sure the house was ready to go.  Afterward, we all hung out at Mom and Dad's and waited for them to get home with their new trailer.  My family watched the kids while Bert and I went down for 7:30 Cares.  Jamie let me tandem hold and I was very excited about it.  It's been quite a while!  Jamie decided to try giving Jordyn some adavan, which is an anti-anxiety drug, to see if that would help with her swinging.  Reggie had lowered Jordyn's rate to a 28 earlier in the day, but it didn't last.  She just isn't ready to be weaned off this machine.  She was very calm while I was holding her, but she usually is, so we don't know if the adavan is helping or not.

New Blankets

Our doctor, Jenny, decided that she wanted to try weaning Jordyn's PEEP down from a 9 to an 8 today.  The PEEP is how much air is left in your lungs after you exhale.  They are hoping to be able to turn Jordyn's settings down lower so that she can pick up the slack and strengthen her lungs.  But, unfortunately, she started swinging a lot more often and they had to turn her back up again.  I bought some gauze fabric and took it over to Harriet's a couple weeks ago.  I wanted her to surge around the fabric and crochet their names on it.  The girls are getting too big for the blankets they have been using but not big enough for the next size up.  The blankets turned out so nice and are perfect for swaddling!

I've been practicing breastfeeding with Addi every morning and she's been doing good.  Today she actually latched on and started sucking for a few seconds.  I was very excited about that.  The eye doctor came by tonight and checked both girls' eyes to make sure they are healthy.  He said they are both looking really good, so that is a big relief.  Bert and I helped with the girls' baths tonight and then held them skin-to-skin for a little while.

Tiff and the boys got home tonight.  They all had a good time at Grandma and Pops' house.  Tiff said the boys wished they could have stayed one more day.  Bert and I have decided that we are going to sell our house rather than try to add onto it.  The remodel was going to cost too much money.  Bert's friend who is a realtor came by today to talk and put up a sign in our yard.  Our house is officially for sale.  I have so many emotions about that.  I have loved this house, but we have just outgrown it and need something bigger.

Booties

My mom's sweet neighbors, the Stones, came by last night to visit and bring over some crocheted booties. Sister Stone said she tried lots of different kinds of yarn to make them as small as possible.  They are still too big for these tiny girls but I couldn't resist trying them on for a picture.

The NP, Jenny, called me this morning on my way down to the hospital to tell me there were no changes with either of the girls today.  She said it was going to be a boring day, but in the NICU that's a good thing.

Outside

I get to try breastfeeding with Addi once a day.  I got there at 10:30 for Cares and I pumped while mom changed the girls diapers.  The nurse got Jordyn out for mom to hold and then I was ready to try with Addi.  She was pretty tired and didn't give much of an effort today.  Anne, our nurse, said that she did pretty good.  There was definitely some interest there but just too tired.  So I pulled her up on my chest and held her while she finished getting fed through her tube.

Jordyn is doing fine.  The doctor wants to leave her alone since she didn't tolerate the weaning the last 2 days.  She will just let us know when she's ready to come off the NIPV.  Our nurse yesterday was standing by Jordyn's bed and told me "Holly, your girls are beautiful."  I was joking with her about how she probably says that to everyone and she told me that she tells everyone their baby's are cute but that Addi and Jordyn are beautiful!

 Rylee cannot get enough of being outside.  She loves it! 

Breastfeeding Addi

The boys left this morning for their trip to NM with Tiff and Erin's family.  They were excited and very antsy for Tiff to pick them up.  They made it there safely and the boys did well in the car. 

Jordyn's doctor, Melanie, tried weaning Jordyn down on her rate yesterday.  The rate is extra breaths that the machine gives per minute.  They went from 30 breaths to 20.  She didn't like that and she started swinging a lot more so they put her back up to 30.   Since she didn't tolerate going down by 10 yesterday, Melanie thought we should try to trick her today and just go down by 1 or 2.  They dropped her from 30 to 29 and she still wouldn't tolerate it.  Jordyn is just a particular girl and wants it the way she wants it.  We are going to give her a few days rest and see if she's ready then.  I think Melanie can tell that I am antsy to get her off the NIPV and onto the next step because she keeps trying to reassure me and tell me how well Jordyn is doing.  Melanie pointed out that Jordyn isn't on a ventilator anymore and that is a really good thing and I am grateful for that.  It's hard to have twins because I am always comparing them to each other and wishing Jordyn would catch up with Addi with her breathing.  The Occupational Therapist, Annie, came in tonight to talk to me about Jordyn's vocal chord and how it will affect breastfeeding.  She will have to start out always laying on her right side so that the right vocal chord can do all of the work.  Annie said that most babies get it all figured out and can still breastfeed just fine.

While I had Annie's attention I asked her when we would be able to start breastfeeding Addi.  Annie said when she is alert during Cares and sucks really well on her pacifier.  I told her that Addi is doing both of those things already and so Annie said we could start tomorrow.  Unfortunately, she will be at other hospitals this whole week until Friday.  She said the nurses are all really good and could help me but I wanted Annie to help me the first time so after we finished with Cares I went home to grab my pump kit and went right back down to the hospital.  I pumped first and then we got Addi out and tried.  It's definitely going to be a learning curve for Addi and for me.  It's nothing like nursing a full-term baby.  Their brain knows what to do and it sends signals but their body just needs to catch up.  Annie gave Addi an A+ for this first time.  She is still so little and gets tired so easily that we have to watch for cues and if she shows any sign of frustration then we have to stop because we want breastfeeding to be a positive thing.  Annie told me that I have to learn patience because the baby can sense how I am feeling and respond and we always want her to be calm and relaxed.  Patience is not one of my best qualities!